Oh Im only 8 months in, begin hormones this month jumping through tonnes of hoops. but im pretty much 24/7 and love it. life is amazing. difficult, at times, certainly, but the difference between being lost alone at sea, and seeing a light in the distance. everything, basically.

Oh my. I read that article from Vitale, a very reputable researcher in the field. It scared me — it describes my case so accurately that I’m shocked, and at this stage, after reading so much on the subject, nothing should really shock me any more.

This truly requires some deep thinking, and a thorough conversation with my therapist.

What I can only say at this stage is that while crossdressing in public — outside typical LGBT-friendly places — I tend to attract much less attention than I imagined. This naturally builds up my self-esteem and confidence, but I have to thank the tolerance levels of my fellow citizens: they certainly appear to be much more open-minded than I thought. But I’m still taking baby steps. At this stage, I would quote your own words and change them slightly: the cost is huge, but I can see that there are benefits 🙂

I’m glad to know that 🙂

fair enough. youre much prettier than me btw!! i will say this; crushing suicidal depression: gone. life is worth living now. although getting dressed now takes 15 mins cos im a jeans a top kinda girl!

i cant recommend it enough tho.

way i saw it, times a wasting. so i pushed it all through asap. might as well get in some good years in the right body and social role right? this is all personally, ie talking from my experience and about my experience, and obviously doenst necessarily map onto anyone els,e bt the moment i gave in and said i am a woman, now lets make the exterior match the interior, ive never looked back. work is great, family are happy im happy, mum loves it, friends say they prefer it, i finally feel like a human being.
being a woman is tough, especially a transwoman, but most people give you a funny look then get bored, or dont care or notice, and quite a few are actively supportive. it totally changes your relationship with women. its really nice.

if i still had a gf it would be a disaster. youre not a coward, youre dealing with something really tough. but the good outcome isnt to stay in a role you naturally feel is wrong.

like i say, there will be a cost, but the benefits are huge.
I found this very interesting and spookily accurate.
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm

Aw I’m actually glad to know that your own transition went well. That’s truly meaningful and great!

In my case… I guess I’m undecided. My psychologist says I tend to repress way too many things, and have done that for a long, long time. I believe she’s really trying to do a double experiment: trying to cure my depression, but at the same time, evaluating if I’m really, really comfortable in dressing so often and so much. I mean, dressing up in my case means losing 3 hours of my time (2 to dress, 1 to undress and pack everything) — 3 hours which I might, after a while, think it’s not worth the trouble after all. Especially if, so far, my best experiences in dressing are really tied to go out with friends and have some fun. If I dress to work — if it’s just at home — it’s a different thing: I’m learning that being a woman is not just a rosy, paradisiacal dream, where it’s just fun and happiness and enjoyable things, but it’s a whole range of experiences, many of which will not be pleasing at all. So far, of course, it’s really early to say. I definitely manage to work a few more hours when dressed and it doesn’t bother me (in fact, I even look forward to it!). So far. How will I feel in 3 or 6 months? I cannot say. I guess I’ll have to wait another half year or so to figure it out for myself.

And then, of course, comes the big dilemma: will I be more happy losing my family and friends (you’re right, my wife is not very fond about the idea of ‘two women living together’; she’s definitely not a lesbian, nor even bi-curious as many woman are; however, she lives with me for a whole lot of reasons that go way, way beyond our genders, so she’s trying to get used to the idea), and possibly relocating elsewhere and start my life from scratch — or to continue to live as a ‘male impersonator’ (I love that expression of yours! that’s exactly how I feel all the time!)? After all, I managed to do so for so many decades. I’m used to that stupid role. I might not be happy about it, but there is no guarantee that I will be happier otherwise.

So I truly admire your own courage, and of those who have transitioned. I’m afraid I’m just a coward in that regard. But who knows? I keep my options open and follow the advice of my psychologist: avoiding to think too much about future problems (some of which might in fact only exist in my imagination). Live one day after the other. What will come, will come…