Comments on: Vanity Moment

By: Deanna Holder

Deanna Holder — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 23:07:00 +0000

Sandra, in case you hadn’t seen my email response to your Vanity MomRe: [New post] Vanity Moment
People

me
Apr 1 at 12:50 AM

Sandra M. Lopes

You are a stunning woman:

” So, naturally, I checked myself out, trying to tame my hair, adjusting the dress… and while I was doing that, it suddenly dawned on me that I was looking at an incredibly gorgeous, sexy woman on the mirror. I think I even gasped for an instant, shocked that for that single moment I truly didn’t recognised myself. It really felt like I was just watching someone else standing there in a curvy body and a close-fitting snake-pattern dress.”

You finally saw the proof i’ve seen for some time, but you always downplayed. You are a gorgeous woman and for me, your smile in the last pic says it all. Here’s to many more evenings out. I have to confess to being a tad jealous. You have finally arrived. Love, D

By: adriennephaneuf2015

adriennephaneuf2015 — Thu, 02 Apr 2015 04:29:34 +0000

In reply to adriennephaneuf2015. By the way, I'm sorry that I keep replying to my own replies...I don't know how else to cram all my verbosity into the space permitted without breaking it up and posting out-of-sequence. I hope it's not inconvenient on your end of the conversation, and if there's an easy fix, please tell me. And now you know what a dunce I am in technological matters. (So much for that intelligence I've been blathering about :D)

By: adriennephaneuf2015

adriennephaneuf2015 — Thu, 02 Apr 2015 04:22:32 +0000

In reply to adriennephaneuf2015.

Certainly this is not the same as your experience in a group of friends in a public setting…but it's relatable enough that I can get an inkling of how you must have felt that night. Although for me it was a private setting, I did get plenty of positive reinforcement from my ladyfriend. She seemed almost as thrilled as I was. We didn't go out, but, for that evening, I would have been willing to so with much more confidence than I'd ever had before. (The rest of the night was wonderful as well, but this is not the forum for an accounting of that….)

By: adriennephaneuf2015

adriennephaneuf2015 — Thu, 02 Apr 2015 04:10:25 +0000

Also like Erin, I am reminded of one moment that I had…certainly not comparable to your experience, in that I was not out in a public setting and I certainly looked nowhere near as good as you)…but it's somewhat similar in the revelatory feeling.

This was (sigh, again like Erin) around 1999; I was recently divorced and had moved a day's drive away and set up residence in my own apartment. It had been years since I'd been able to do any serious dressing…it was early on in a relationship with a woman who was spending the night with me. It was the first time I'd dresssed in her presence, and she helped me tremendously with my makeup and overall look. When the (hours-long) process was complete, she led me to the full-length mirror, and I was shocked out of my mind at the image I presented. "Who IS this woman? She's hot!" It made me dizzy.

By: adriennephaneuf2015

adriennephaneuf2015 — Thu, 02 Apr 2015 03:56:31 +0000

In reply to Sandra M. Lopes.

And me! I was right too! … But seriously, what a lovely and uplifting essay. Like Erin (great comments, Erin), I was delighted that you were able, for that moment, to escape your usual self-consciousness and see yourself as others see you…not just me and Erin–as evidenced by the many compliments you were receiving. Judging from the pictures, you did indeed look beautiful that night.

And maybe now that fleeting moment will be followed by many, not-so-fleeting moments.

By: Sandra M. Lopes

Sandra M. Lopes — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 21:24:34 +0000

In reply to Erin Swallows. Aw thanks, Erin. And ultimately I have to agree with you — you were right after all! Pity that it was just a fleeting moment :)

By: Erin Swallows

Erin Swallows — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 15:58:22 +0000

FINALLY !!!!!!! in that all too brief moment or fraction of a second you see yourself I have ALWAYS seen you, and tossed out the harshness that you are always measuring yourself against (in terms of your slight imperfections, manly this, odd shaped that, etc etc etc) and for ONCE focused on the overall image that conveys you to us as merely a beautiful, sensual, gorgeous woman. You see, the thing you continue to forget is that every person alive has insecurities about some part of themselves, whether it be their shyness, their weight, their lack of confidence, WHATEVER it is, no one is perfect. And you shouldn't hold youself to that that high expectation, because I and I am sure all the others don't. I know you will argue otherwise, but PLEASE PLEASE don't soon forget the euphoria that came with that image and feeling when you finally saw Sandra in the full length mirror. Now that you have had a taste of it, and see it the same way I have seen it for ages, you may know why i have always encouraged you to look at yourself in those mirrors, windows or whatever the case may be , hoping this EXACT thing would become the revelation it finally seems to have. This is the same feeling that hit me in 1999 when i had my first professional makeover, after having been (and still am) an amateur CD for years. When i saw Erin, i knew that very instant, OMGGGGGG, who is this looking back at me, it was out of body experience the same way as you describe it.

Yes, those moments are ones we never, ever forget. I just feel bad it has taken you SOOOO long to see it the same way I (and many others) have. Remember to us, and I won't attempt to pretty it up, you don't need to be the most beautiful girl in the world to still be desirable and gorgeous to us. And you are, so please know that.

As always, your dearest love

Erin
xx